Catch Me I'm Falling
by Prosecuting Defense
Summary: Slightly AU. Ethan had one job: save Shaun. He'd failed. He'd let Shaun down. He'd let Madison down. He'd broken his promise to Jayden. He had nothing left. Technically Unrequited Mars/Jayden. Major Character Death. Suicide Warning.


Warnings, Triggers: Major Character Death. Suicide.  
Requirements: Ethan lives. Jayden lives. Madison dies. Shelby dies. Bear, Butterfly, Lizard, and Rat trials completed successfully. Shark trial failed. Failed to figure out correct address.

Inspired by an Imagine Your OTP prompt. Wait until ending to avoid "spoilers."

Also, really rough editing.  
I'll go back and proofread it soon (it's 3 AM and I'm done fucking around with this fic.)

* * *

As far as Ethan knew, Shaun was dead. He wasn't able to save him. He'd failed the trials.

The address - what was the address?

_Fuck, he didn't know. Fuck if he'd ever know._

He'd nothing now. Jason was long gone. Grace was gone. And Shaun - the only thing that brought him any hope, any joy, any reason to live whatsoever, was dead.

He'd failed him. As a person. As a father. He wasn't able to save Shaun. Four trials. He'd completed four trials - he drove on the wrong side of the highway. He crawled through broken glass and electrical condensers. He'd chopped part of his pinky off. He'd drank the "poison". But because he just couldn't bring himself to kill that man - because he wouldn't become a killer - he wasn't able to finish the hangman.

He wasn't able to find Shaun.

He'd lost Shaun and he'd dragged Madison into everything. She'd been killed because of him.

She'd never be able to write another story, or cover another case, or see her photos on the covers of any more magazines because of him.

And Jayden. Norman. He was never going to see him again, not after today. Ethan would never be able to properly thank Norman for all he did, for all he tried to do, despite the disapproval of the rest of his coworkers. For actually giving a damn about Ethan's sanity, _for believing in him, for __**giving him a second chance**_. A second chance that he blew.

He just wanted to thank him, for everything, and that despite both of their failures, that he truly appreciated it.

And Ethan knew that if things had gone differently, that certainly wouldn't have been the last time he'd see the agent. He knew that if Shaun was found, he'd make it up to the agent.

Ethan had to admit. He was going to miss him.

Regardless, the truth still remained:

There was nothing left for him.

Nothing but the cold, hard pavement that awaited him a few stories down.

_He'll be alright_, they'd told him. _He's really shocked, and he's continuously slipping in and out of consciousness, but he's going to be alright._

They'd done it. They'd saved the kid.

All Jayden had left to do was track down Ethan and deliver the good news.

And if Blake was to be trusted - which, of course he wasn't, but at least he'd heard the same from three others - Ethan Mars should be at the old construction site over on Holmes St.

It was a short drive, but long enough to give Jayden time to think.

The moment he was told that Shaun was going to be alright, it was like a wave of relief washing over him; all the work everyone had put into finding the boy, it wasn't all for nothing. Shaun was safe and Shelby was dead.

_Shelby was dead._ The memory alone sent shivers down his spine. He'd killed him. He hadn't wanted to - he never wanted to kill anyone in this case. And yet…

_Nathaniel, shot._

_Mad Jack, crushed._

_Shelby, …_

Christ, was that painful to watch. It was even worse knowing that if it wasn't Shelby falling to his death, it would've been Jayden dying via grinder.

Nonetheless. Shaun was alive and would survive, and now he could go back to his father. A father that went to great lengths to save his son.

While he didn't personally save Shaun, he went through more than anyone should ever have to experience to rescue his child. And, just going by his profile, Jayden could already tell that Ethan felt himself a failure to Shaun; felt that he wasn't able to save his son, and was angry at himself because of it.

Did Ethan already know Shaun was alive? Jayden doubted it.

He could almost imagine the look of relief that Ethan would sport when Norman'd tell him. What he couldn't even begin to imagine is how Ethan would feel upon receiving the news. To know that his suffering through the trials weren't for nothing.

Most of all, Jayden just wanted to see Ethan smile, more than that grateful gesture he was given when he'd helped the father escape, one that would show that Ethan was… happy for once.

And Jayden all but knew he would be able to grow used to that smile, grow to love it. Truth be told, he'd hoped this wouldn't be the last time he'd be seeing the Mars family. More specifically, that this wouldn't be the last time he'd be seeing Ethan Mars.

As he pulled up to the construction site, he couldn't help but wonder why Ethan'd go _here_ of all places. From his knowledge, Ethan had designed this building, sure, but he didn't have anything to do with the actual construction - did he?

No, of course not.

Then why was he sitting up on the top story of the building?

_They've done a great job with this_, Ethan thought. It was always something to see something he designed come to life.

While the construction wasn't completely finished on the building it just as well might've been. All that was left was the plumbing and electrical work.

And, y'know, railings on the balconies.

And sitting out on the balcony of the fourth floor, he had to admit, it had quite a view.

The immediate vicinity around the building had been blocked off due to construction, and Ethan didn't even see the car pulling up in front of it.

If Ethan was honest with himself, he was a little scared. He never once, not even after the first trial, thought it would come to this.

He wasn't scared about jumping in itself - on the contrary, he'd jumped from atop a building before, when he jumped off the roof in an attempt to escape Blake. Granted, that was a much smaller distance, and he was fairly certain he would survive, but still.

No, he was afraid of the possibility that he _would_ survive this fall.

It would hurt. Like hell.

And as much as he never, ever wanted to relive any of the pain he'd experienced through the trials - less than three days had passed, and Ethan couldn't believe he was already feeling this… numb - he knew that, if he somehow survived this fall - the pain he'd endure would be hell of a lot more than that. He was facing paralysis, more broken limbs, and, if he was lucky - death.

Maybe he should go up a floor, guarantee there being no chance of survival.

No. This was something he had to do now.

The faster he jumped, he told himself as he stood up, the easier it'll be.

Jayden walked up to the building. By the looks of things, Ethan was up on the, what, fourth floor? Jayden had quite a long way to climb.

He'd called up to him. Nothing. Must've not heard him.

Ethan seemed… preoccupied.

It wasn't until Ethan stood up, looking over the ledge, that it kicked in for Jayden.

He took off, skipping stairs, climbing the flights as fast as his legs would allow him.

And he made it.

He'd burst through the door leading out to the fourth floor's balcony just in time.

Just in time to see Ethan turn around and frown, to hear him say, almost in a whisper, _"I'm sorry."_

Just in time to watch Ethan fall.

_He wasn't able to save him._

* * *

Imagine Your OTP prompt: Imagine Person A of your OTP standing at the top of a building, ready to jump off, while Person B walks along the street below. Looking up, Person B sees Person A and runs up into the building and up the stairs. Person B runs onto the roof just in time to watch Person A fall off the edge.


End file.
